I don’t have to tell you what’s going on here. You’ve already seen the movie, either the original 1980s Mel Gibson classic or the 2015 version with Tom Hardy, Road Warrior/Mad Max seems to be life imitating art. It appears the post-apocalyptic dystopia is coming and it’s time for all of us to brace ourselves with the only thing that can possibly contradict the misery of what we are about to experience:
Muffins.
If Mad Max, burning metal and fight scenes are at one end of the existence spectrum, full blown battle-hardened dystopia. Fresh-baked muffins, warm out of the oven and wafting through the air are at the opposite, wholesome, Disney-Movie utopian end. Minus the evil witches (although I don’t know your life)
I know it’s not pumpkin season, but canned pumpkin lasts apparently a million years and is good to bust out when you have a chilly, rainy, cloudy spring in addition to the impending end of the world.
I first had my first incredible chocolate chunk pumpkin muffin years ago from a little spot called The Breadery, tucked away in Oella, MD. A tiny town adjacent to already tiny historic Ellicott City. From that point forward it had remained the holy grail, something I sought out at every single bakery I entered, seeking, hungrily like a fiend for their next fix.
So here I am to share with you this incredibly delicious, apocalypse proof, carb-heavy beauty chock-full of dark chocolate chunks with slight hints of those delicious, cozy fall pumpkin pie flavors.
P.S. These freeze incredibly well! Because this recipe makes about 10 large muffins or 18 standard size muffins., if you’re a solo person you probably shouldn’t eat all of them in one sitting (I’m not saying you can’t). Once they have cooled completely, wrap each tightly in saran wrap, then in tin foil and pop them in the freezer individually or in a ziploc back, pop one out and heat in a muffin tin for about 5 minutes at 275.
P.S. I didn’t do a photoshoot of my muffins because #1 I ate them all too fast, #2 I’m lazy and fat from all the carbs I ate #3 people have to pay good money to see my muffins, CashApp or Venmo only (this is a joke please don’t dm me).
RECIPE
3/4 cups granulated sugar
3/4 cups of pumpkin puree
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
3 tsps vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups AP flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice (1/4 tsp each of nutmeg, ginger, cloves)
1 tsp salt
1 bag of Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 semi-sweet chocolate baking bar
Instructions
Wash your hands
Preheat your oven to 425. Line your muffin tins then sit that on your counter, next to your stockpile of toilet paper.
in a mixer or a large bowl, mix your pumpkin puree, sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla until completely blended and no lumpy bumps.
In another medium sized bowl, mix your flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice and salt. Whisk together until completely blended.
Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet ones until completely blended with a rubber spatula or your whisk.
With a serrated knife, chop the baking bar into various sized chunks, smaller than a quarter.
Add half the baking bar chocolate and 3/4 of the bag of chips to the pumpkin mixture. Mix together with your whisk or rubber spatula.
Drop batter into muffin tins 2/3 of the way to the top. Top with the remaining chopped chocolate and chocolate chips. Eat a few just to make sure they aren’t poison.
Bake in the oven for 5 minutes at 425. Then turn the pan to cook evenly, lower the heat to 350 and bake for another 16 minutes. The trick to a great muffin, just like with a great cupcake is to slightly undercook it by like 1 minute. If you’re afraid of salmonella from the eggs or something else, you’re obviously not aware of the world around us and I would rather die by muffin than respiratory failure.
Wait for them to cool then enjoy with coffee, tea and the end of humanity as we know it.